Of Fish Custard, TARDIS and Apples
by HarryPotterPJODoctorWho
Summary: One chapter long story but humourous  most of the time really weird a bit dramatic and as River Song would say SPOILERS! p.s okay it's really stupid but we have to say it: we do not own Harry Potter or Doctor Who.


By: Hiba F. Zainab S.

Hermoine's P.O.V

Woohoo! I was watching Doctor Who the 11th Hour the other night (and in case you don't know what Doctor Who is, it's a British Sci-Fi Fantasy show). I came across this thing called fish fingers and custard which made me wonder what it would taste like. It must taste pretty good because one of my favourite YouTube vloggers (charlieissocoollike), tried it and said that it was actually kind of tasty!

Then I had an idea... ''ACCIO FISH CUSTARD!" And they popped up right in front of me. I went down to the kitchen to cook the fish fingers but I was bottled up with rage because I saw the house elves working and S.P.E.W wasn't going so well. For once I had a new feeling inside of me, I wanted to hit something, perhaps Draco. .. again.

DING! The fish fingers were done! I got the custard out and dipped a fish finger into it. I slowly brought the fish finger up to my mouth, and took a bite. It was like a sensation of beautiful, delicious flavours! It tasted like chocolate rainbows, leprechauns, pots o' gold and of course... Hufflepuffs! (A.N. We know that makes her sound like a cannibal but we thought it was funny). Now... OFF TO TELL THE WORLD ABOUT FISH CUSTARD! But, I will go to Harry and Ron first...!

Ron and Harry's P.O.V

Ever since Hermoine started watching that Doctor whatever show she's been chasing our tails and trying to make us eat that fish fingers and custard thing,what kind of a combination is that? Oh look, there she comes now, *sigh* under normal circumstances we would've been happy to see her, but she's been out of control lately.

We looked at each other and started to run from Hermoine, but she caught up to us. "Hey guys, so have you tried fish custard lately?" she asked. "Oh so I've been trying to get Dumbledore to bring fish custard to the feasts but they wouldn't allow me to talk to him because he was 'too busy.' " she added quickly before we could reply to her question.

Ron and I looked at each other irritably, what has that show done to her! We both nodded, we must've been thinking the same thing.

She grinned. "Ohohohoh, and what'd you think about it!" she asked. We both held up five fingers, we must've been thinking the same thing again. "5 out of 5." Harry said. Hermione grinned again,turned around and walked off. WooHoo freedom!

Draco's P.O.V

Oh... all the amazing time that I have been spending with my supermegafoxyawesomehot Granny Smith. She is so green, so juicy so delicious. I savoured every single bite with her. Oh no, here comes that Granger girl, what if she punches me again, the filthy little mudblood.

"Woohoooooooooooo! I feel like hitting something!" she yelled, waving her arms in the air and coming towards me. As she came towards me she curled her hands into fists and punched me in the nose!... again...

"I FEEL SO ALIVE!" she called waving her arms in the air again. Then I blacked out, but the smell of my sweet apple awoke me.

Ron and Harry's P.O.V

YEAH! FINALLY FREE! The past few weeks have been so weird with Hermoine,maybe we shouldn't have bought her that tele for her birthday...we both laughed. Oh no... we have double divination after lunch... the thought of that made us feel like all the happiness was sucked out of the world... the Dementors are coming. Our laughter turned into depression. She is such a banshee that Professor Trelawney.

Draco's P.O.V

Well after that punch in the nose... again... I decided that I would try to ignore that mudblood even more than before, and don't you DARE think of SHIPPING ME WITH HER, yes I am talking to you.

Well... at least I can get back to my apple now! OH NO! It's shrinking, it's shrinking! I fell to my knees! WHY? I must avoid eating it for a while. But before I could stop myself I was bringing the apple closer and closer to my mouth, and before I knew it me teeth were touching the apple!

NOO! I took it away from my mouth. I must refrain from the apple. I hid the apple in the pocket of my robes and walked back off to the Slytherin Dungeons.

Hermoine's P.O.V

On Saturday,Harry,Ron and I were walking outside the castle. I was blabbing on and on about Doctor Who and Fish Custard,but of course they were lying about trying fish custard and they didn't know what flavours I was talking about so I just played along.

"Hey Hermoine,what do you mean by it taste like Hufflepuffs?" asked Ron.

"Yeah." said Harry," I'm pretty sure fish custard tastes like fish fingers and custard".

"Well,what I mean by "It tastes like Hufflepuffs", is that Hufflepuffs are really nice and so is fish custard".

"Oh I see" said Ron and Harry but probably still not getting it. But just then my day got better,I heard a wooshing sound, suddenly my body filled with excitement IT'S THE TARDIS GUYS IT'S THE TARDIS!

"Oh calm down Hermione, there is no such thing as 'The Doctor' or 'the TARDIS'." said Ron.

"Yeah Hermione, I agree with Ron." said Harry.

I got really irritated with them so I grabbed the back of their neck and they turned around. "OH MY ROWLING IT IS THE TARDIS! HA I TOLD YOU! MWAHAHAHAHHA!"

Ron and Harry both looked at each other very awkwardly. I sprinted toward the TARDIS and started to yell while knocking on the TARDIS doors, "OPEN THE DOOR! OPEN IT NOW! DO YOU HEAR ME? DOCTOR! OPEN THE DOOR! NOOWW! PLEASE OH PLEASE I NEED TO SEE INSIDE YOUR SHIP!"

"She needs to sort out her priorities." said Ron. Harry nodded laughing. Suddenly, very slowly the TARDIS door opened and out came...

The 11th Doctor's P.O.V

Who the heck is banging on the door! I looked down and saw a short bushy haired girl. I smiled at her and it looked as though she was about to fall down. She was able to make out a nervous smile and her face was red with embarrassment and then she moved her mouth to speak. To my surprise she burst into song!

"Oh Doctor take me up tonight! I know that I should get a grip, but I need to see inside your ship and have you take me everywhere you've gone! It's a song by one of my favourite bands called Chameleon Circuit it's called Doctor What!" she said.

My face turned red because I was trying hard not to laugh out loud. Amy and Rory's backs were turned to the TARDIS and we could here them giggling. The two boys behind her just stared in shock. After a couple of seconds of an awkward silence the ginger one broke it.

"You're wearing a bowtie!" said the ginger one.

"He thinks they're cool." said Amy rolling her eyes.

"What do you mean "think", they're cool, they are cool!" I said looking offended. "Yeah, yeah, very cool." said Amy sarcastically.

Right after they said that a pale boy with blonde hair and a crooked nose had walked in biting a green apple very slowly...

Draco's P.O.V

It was all coming to an end. My apple and I would be no more after this one last delicious, juicy flavour filled bite. I brought the apple closer to my mouth and I took the last bite! I chewed it slowly savouring every last moment. Then it happened, I swallowed it. A tear rolled down my cheek, maybe that happened for the best.

Then I realized the people by the phone box had been staring at me alongside that filthy little mudblood. I turned my head and then I saw a beautiful red haired woman. It was like falling in love with an apple all over again, except this time instead of a Granny Smith it was a Red delicious. I thought of walking towards her but that would just make things awkward, especially after the ending of my apple phase. I decided that I would walk up to the strange man in the bowtie.

"Who are you? What are you doing here? Are you even a wizard? How did you get here? Why is there a Police Box behind you? What are you doing here with "the wrong sort"?"

He opened his mouth to speak, "I'm the Doctor, I came here becauses that's where the TARDIS ended up. I am not a wizard. And I don't quite understand what you mean by 'the wrong sort.' he replied.

"Who's red head and extra?" I asked.

"OHOHOHOHOHOHOH! I KNOW! That's-"

Hermione was saying before I interuppted her. "Of course Granger, there's nothing in the world that you don't know, so why don't you just stay quiet."

"Hey don't talk to her like that!" said the Weasley.

"Yeah, so why don't you just lay off and let her finish." said Potter. "Okay, so as I was saying, the man in the bow tie is the Doctor, (and he has already introduced himself), the 'red head' is Amy and 'extra' is Rory, Amy's husband." said Granger.

As she said those last two words my heart shattered into a million pieces. I decided to leave.

Amy's P.O.V

Okay. So really strange day so far. Firstly there's some girl singing. Secondly the Doctor and I start arguing about bowties. Thirdly there's a teenager in love with an apple. Although, I had to admit this was all quite amusing.

But the strangest part about it, was that the pale boy just left when he heard that Rory was my husband. It was quite awkward actually. Also how he called Rory "extra." I decided it was just best to leave it alone, he was a very amusing boy to watch...

Hermione's P.O.V

I couldn't believe this was all happening. Ron and Harry were in such shock that he was real they could barely move or talk. I always knew he was real! ALWAYS! And if we are real then why can't he be? Well anyways they've introduced themselves (or I've introduced), so we should introduce ourselves.

"My name is Hermione Granger."

"Nice to meet you Hermione." said the Doctor.

"I'm Harry sir, Harry Potter."

"Harry Potter! That sounds familiar!" said Rory. Harry grinned.

"Hello, I'm Ron Weasley." said Ron.

"OH! We both have red hair, except yours is ginger but still!" Amy exclaimed.

"Ah Ron, I've always wanted to be ginger." said the Doctor.

"Well yeah, being a ginger is pretty awesome, and we do have souls." Ron said with a smile.

"Well I'm getting hungry now." Amy said pulling out an apple from her purse. She gasped. "This is the most beautiful apple I have ever seen!" she exclaimed. She slowly took a bite out of it. "It's like the flavours are swerving around in my mouth!" she said.

Just then Draco walked in. He gasped! "Your cheating on me and the other one! WITH A GOLDEN DELICIOUS! This relationship is over, MY FATHER WILL BE HEARING ABOUT THIS!" said Draco, his voice filled with anger.

He walked away once again and didn't look back. "OH MY GOD! We need to go inside the TARDIS!" I said.

I grabbed Ron and Harry by the arms and pulled them inside! It was so much bigger on the inside. It looked just like it did on the tele.

"So these little kids are going to be travelling with us now?" asked Amy, while chewing her apple.

"I guess so." said the Doctor.

"So it takes these little kids 5 seconds to be your companians, but it took me almost a whole year of dying and memory loss? I am confused." said Rory.

The Doctor shrugged and Amy laughed. Meanwhile I was freaking out in the TARDIS, and Ron and Harry were as confused as Rory. The Doctor, Amy and Rory all went inside the TARDIS and watched me freak out. I calmed down for a moment.

"OHOHOHOHOHOHOH!" I said. "Did you know that you daugter is still alive?" I asked.

"WHAT?" the Doctor, Amy and Rory all asked.

**THE END!**

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

OMG REALLY LONG ONE-SHOT THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE FISH CUSTARD THE WHOLE TIME BUT THINGS HAPPENED AND WE GOOFED OFF IN THE YOU'RE NOT GONNA GET A SEQUEL BUT IF YOUR LUCKY WE MIGHT ONLY IF YOU LIKE OH AND WE'RE ONLY 10 YEAH I KNOW WE'RE NOT OLD ENOUGH OKAY NOW THE AN FROM MY CO-AUTHOR/COUSIN~HIBAsORRY ABOUT THE CHARACTERS CHANGING PERSONALITIES WE THOUGHT IT WOULD BE NECESSARY FOR IT, IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE A COMEDY SORTA... ALSO, IF YOU ARE A DOCTOR WHO FAN YOU CAN SUPPORT IT BY WATCHING CHARLIEISSOCOOLLIKE AND NERIMON. ALSO YOU CAN LISTEN AND BUY THEIR ALBUMS. THEY'RE NOT PAYNG US OR ANYTHING WE ARE JUST REALLY BIG FANS AND WE WANT CHARLIE AND ALEX TO GET MORE VIEWS. ALSO IF YOU ARE A POTTERHEAD THEN YOU SHOULD ALSO LISTEN TO WROCK AND READ HARRY POTTER. HOPE YOU ENJOYED BYE! ~ZAINAB

SO THE LAST AUTHOR NOTE IS FROM THE BOTH OF US IS MATT SMITH'S GRANDMA IS AN APPLE GET IT GRANNY SMITH ~HIBA AND ZAINAB


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